The Incline

Captain's Log: Day 2

Today was a little bit of a rough day. Not for any one reason, but because I think all the pressure of trying to hold everything together just finally caught up to me, similarly to the gasket in the 2009 Pilot that the Middle Child was driving the other night that decided it had driven its last mile (RIP you lovely vehicle, thank you for the memories and keeping us all safe...). I feel like it would be super easy for me to drive this blog into a sea of negativity and woe as my life is filled with unknown and chaos right now, which is not fun to read and surround oneself with. But I also feel like social media is constantly bombarding us with these perfect moments and sparkly realities that people choose to show - they don't show the kid melting down five minutes before they got their perfect family picture, or the hidden price tag on the dress that you absolutely must get, but will be returned tomorrow. So I have decided to write even when I am feeling a little salty. If you aren't familiar with it, the Manitou Incline is found right outside my hometown of Colorado Springs. I personally have never done it because 1) it wasn't a thing when I was in high school (back in the age of the dinosaurs, and maybe it was a thing, but you never heard about it because people didn't even have cell phones yet) and 2) I get winded just walking up the stairs at my parent's house these days - living at 390 miles above sea level has made me soft. But I know that among those 2,744 steps that take you 2,000 feet higher in elevation in just 1 mile, there is a false summit. You know, the place where you THINK you're about to crest the top and have some glorious views and BAM! instead the glorious view you're hit with is 1,000 more steps to climb. That is how I feel right now. I keep taking all these steps forward. Make a few updates to the house. Save some money. Eat healthy and drink water. But just when I think I'm getting somewhere, BAM! Insane property taxes! A dead car! Gaining 5 pounds instead of losing it! It's exhausting out here! But I also know that I will keep going. I will say my Hail Mary's and look for angel numbers in the license plates and phone numbers plastered on trucks as I'm driving down the road. I will continue to fight the good fight for my kids and for myself and one of these days, I will be standing at the top of the incline (figuratively - again the dancer knees and altitude...) and I will be glad I made it while I enjoy the view.

P.S. A little hummingbird is hovering outside my window as I'm writing this - I will absolutely take that as a sign!

Weather: sunny and mild